


Is This Living Free?

by stuckinmybook



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:21:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26867329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuckinmybook/pseuds/stuckinmybook
Summary: Klaus always knew that he was special. He knew, deep down, that he was different and weird and not right. Unfortunately, that was because he was actually Normal.AU where Klaus grew up without powers.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone, Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Is This Living Free?

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, I'm posting something else! Let me know what you think. See the end for more notes

Klaus always knew that he was special. He knew, deep down, that he was different and weird and not right. Unfortunately, that was because he was actually Normal. All of his six siblings all had powers that made them capital-s Special. They could do cool tricks and fight bad guys and save the day. Klaus wasn’t able to do anything but sit on the sidelines and watch them be extraordinary. 

But that made him special. 

He was special because he wasn’t special. That’s what he told himself every morning and every night. He was special. He couldn’t do what his siblings could do. He would never be a part of killing bad guys or Special training or anything. And that made him special. 

Five disappearing made him even more thankful that he was special. He didn’t have to worry about disappearing and getting yelled at because he wrecked a room when he was mad and accidentally killing people with weird creatures from his tummy. He was Normal. He was special. He was Klaus. 

Of course, sometimes he did have worries. At night, he dreamed about faceless creatures screeching his name. Sometimes he would get spooked from the weird shadows that seemed to hang around the academy when the lighting wasn’t right. And, when he forgot to take his anemia medicine, he would feel awfully scared all the time. It made a tiny part of himself question what anemia medicine had to do with whether he felt brave or not, but he usually just brushed that off. He didn’t want to have worries. 

He floated through his childhood and teenage years. He has strong memories in flashes and the rest felt like a haze of numbness. He watched as his siblings got more and more bitter. He couldn’t really blame them for it, but he also couldn’t really sympathize. He didn’t like living in the academy, but he couldn’t really conjure up any strong feelings of hate either. Not like Diego and Vanya. He couldn’t bring himself to feel the same fear that Ben felt. 

He didn’t feel anything until Ben died. 

When Ben died, he felt the strongest waves of emotion that he could honestly ever feel rise. His stomach dropped along with his heart. His knees weakened and then buckled when Diego walked through his bedroom door and stuttered through the words. Diego held him as he cried, stuttering through comforts to him. Despite the fact that he had never had powers, he had never felt so powerless. 

He took enough medicine to not remember the funeral. 

His nightmares got worse after Ben was gone. He joined the cacophony of voices that called out for him, that asked for his help. He started to avoid sleeping until he couldn’t stay awake anymore. If he thought everything blurred together before, nothing could compare to the year following the death of Ben. Their mom kept him as drugged as a zombie because he couldn’t stop crying when he was sober. Breakfast felt the same as the dinner the night before and every other day before that. He didn’t eat at most of them anyway. He just couldn’t continue to live the way that he had before Ben was gone. 

It all came to a head on the year anniversary of it. He woke up with a scream. That wasn’t uncommon. Mom coming into the room to give him a dose of sedative wasn’t uncommon either. His usual stumble down the stairs and towards the dining table passed by in a blur. He was, however, surprised to find himself on the floor suddenly before he reached the kitchen. He stayed there, lying face up and staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t bring himself to blink, let alone move. After some time, Diego and Vanya’s face popped into view over him. For some reason he couldn’t think of, they were crying. 

He asked them what was wrong, but they just started crying harder. Vanya dropped to her knees and pulled him to her. He could feel the room shaking around them. Once he could finally zone his hearing in, he realized that Vanya was apologizing to him. What did she have to be sorry for? 

He asked her as much. She pulled back and looked at him. Her gaze was intense-too intense for his hazed brain. So, he turned to Diego to get away. That didn’t help. Diego had the same look. He looked both and forth between them until one of them finally started talking. Diego begged him to get better. All of them were worried about him and his new habit of being numb all of the time. Vanya spoke up and admitted that they were all terrified that they were going to lose him too. None of them could stand to have another brother ripped away. It became especially true when they came to breakfast on that day- that day of all days- to him nearly dead. They wanted to help him. 

Klaus looked at his super powered siblings. He really didn’t think they cared that much about him. He was the special one and not one of the Special ones. He couldn’t understand why they would. But, looking at his Special siblings and their big feelings, he felt like maybe he wanted to feel a bit more like them too. A little sliver of light broke through his cloud of Numb. 

He struggled to his feet and, with the help of Diego, he became upright. He asked them to help him to Mom so that she could make him better. Vanya seemed a little hesitant and a little weary of the idea, but they both helped him. They helped him onto one of the cots and Diego departed to get Mom. Vanya stroked his hair and hummed to him as he drifted off to sleep waiting on Mom. 

He couldn’t help but think, as he fell into his odd state of unconsciousness, that they were making him feel just a little bit Special.

**Author's Note:**

> This one is kinda experimental. Let me know what y'all think about it. I'm not quite sure about continuing it. I love feedback!


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